"Sis, You Good?" — The Secret Struggles Behind the ‘Dream Life’

To the untrained eye, I am that girl. My hair stays laid, my selfies hit, my kids look well-fed and occasionally matching, and my Instagram feed looks like a Canva ad.

But let me tell you something.

Under this highlight reel is a Black woman who just microwaved her coffee for the third time, has over 400 unread texts, and is 1 "You got a minute?" away from quitting life and becoming a beachside bartender named Sapphire.

💅🏾 The “Dream Life” Ain’t Always What It Looks Like

People will look at you and say, “You’re doing amazing, sis!” and you’ll be like, “Thanks,” while internally screaming, “Ma’am, I just cried in the Target parking lot because I couldn’t remember why I walked in.”

Black women are out here holding it all together with edge control and prayer. We are:

• CEO-ing by day, side hustling by night.

• Raising kids who think “What’s for dinner?” is an Olympic sport.

• Smiling through microaggressions like it’s a Black Girl Magic pageant.

And the kicker? We still gotta look good doing it.

😩 The Pressure of the "Strong Black Woman"

Being strong is cute until you're folding laundry at midnight, fighting back tears because even Superwoman needs a nap and nobody has offered to cook dinner. Again.

We laugh, we serve, we slay—but sometimes, we need a moment to say:

“Actually, I’m not okay. I’m tired. I’m emotionally backordered. And no, I haven’t had a hot meal since Beyoncé dropped ‘Lemonade.’”

💖 But Let’s Be Clear…

We wouldn’t trade this Black girl experience for the world. There’s beauty in our boldness, our resilience, our laughter that starts in the belly and ends with a snort.

But sometimes, sis, you’ve got to remind people (and yourself) that behind every slayed look and curated post is a woman who deserves rest, grace, and unbothered peace.

So to all my Black women who look like they’ve got it all together but are lowkey Googling “how to fake your own disappearance”—you are not alone.

You’re not just doing the most. You are the most. But even “the most” needs a break sometimes.

So go ahead. Take off that bra, order the DoorDash, and remember: The soft life is not just for the ‘gram. It’s for you.