Sis, You Are the Table — Stop Letting Them Treat You Like a Folding Chair

Hey Queen,

Let’s have a real moment.

You’ve spent your days pouring out — into your job, your family, your friendships, your church, your man, your kids… the list goes on. You’ve been everything for everybody. But let me ask you this — who’s been everything for you?

We’re taught to be ride-or-die. To stick it out. To be strong. But sis, strength doesn’t mean silence. Being loyal doesn’t mean letting people treat you like you’re optional. And love? Love should never feel like begging.

Let me be crystal clear: You are not a backup plan. You are not the “just in case.” You are not the 2 a.m. text. You are not the afterthought. You are the main event, the answered prayer, the divine gift.

If they can’t see your value, if they only hit you up when it’s convenient, if you feel more like a placeholder than a priority — that’s your sign. It’s not your job to convince them you’re worth it. It’s your job to believe it yourself.

And that starts with action.

🔑 How to Make Sure You’re Treated Like a Priority

1. Set Clear Boundaries — and Keep Them

   • Stop shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.

   • If someone disrespects your time, energy, or peace more than once, believe them.

   • Say no without explanation. You don’t owe anyone access to you.

2. Match Energy, Don’t Chase It

   • If someone’s communication is inconsistent, mirror that. Don’t chase people who can’t keep up.

   • Reciprocation is basic. If they’re not giving what you give, it’s time to reevaluate their place in your life.

3. Put Yourself on Your Own Calendar

   • Schedule time for YOU like you do for everybody else — rest, self-care, hobbies, therapy, joy.

   • Don’t wait to be celebrated — take yourself out, buy the flowers, wear the outfit.

4. Check the Patterns, Not the Potential

   • Stop falling in love with people’s potential.

   • Look at what they consistently show you — not what they promise or what you hope for.

5. Communicate Your Standards Clearly

   • You’re not being “too much” — you’re being honest.

   • People who want to be in your life will rise to the standard. Those who can’t? Let them go with grace.

6. Remember: You Teach People How to Treat You

   • The more you tolerate being last, the more people will make that your permanent seat.

   • You set the tone for how others interact with you. Show them you’re not the leftovers.

So this week, do something revolutionary: Choose you.

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Show up for yourself the way you’ve been showing up for everybody else.

Because the truth is — when you make yourself a priority, you teach others how to treat you. And baby girl, you deserve to be front row, center stage, fully seen, fully honored.

No more crumbs. You want the whole table? Good — because you ARE the table.

With love, courage, and high standards,

A sister who’s finally done settling; in relationships and friendships 💛